Liar. Disrespectful. I couldn’t believe my ears! My manager was accusing me of being a liar and disrespectful. Let me repeat myself. My manager, who I was supposed to look up to and who should lead by example, was calling me those names.
Friends, let me rewind to September 2019.
After 12 ½ years of working at a school, I decided to spread my wings and try something new and different. My last day at the school was on a Friday and I began my new job in the corporate world that Monday.
Prefer to listen? Click the arrow below.
When I was interviewed for the new job, I was told that I was not the first person to hold this position – in fact, it had been filled many times, by many other people and in a short amount of time.
Ding ding ding. That should’ve been a wake up call.
The manager could be a handful, I was told. But I felt confident that I could handle it. And, not to mention, I was excited for a new job, a new beginning, a new adventure.
Rude Awakening
Well, fast forward five months later on the job and I was a completely different person. I did not recognize myself.
The job was a terrible fit.
I’m a people person and I was all alone in the office often.
My manager was not a good people manager and did not communicate well. And because of that, I misunderstood a request she made.
When I discovered the mistake, she proceeded to call me those names – a liar and disrespectful. And lectured me for a full 45 minutes.
It was a negative, toxic work environment.
I remained stoic at work, but I sobbed every night when I got home. The full body shaking sobs. I was no longer confident. Filled with anxiety and misery. I swear, my hair even turned fifty shades of gray.
Had I hit rock bottom? I don’t know, but I knew I had to leave – for my sanity. So, I quit. With no other job lined up. It was February 13, 2020.
Two weeks later, everything shut down. The COVID 19 pandemic had arrived. And this is where my story begins…
The Story
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.” Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities
The worst of times? Sure, the chaos of 2020. But 2020, the best of times? Absolutely. I also believe this to be true.
Here was an opportunity for renewal, for reflection, slowing down, family dinners, children playing outside again. And now that I was out of work – I had some time on my hands.
Here was an opportunity to reflect on me. Who was I? Who had I become? At the age of 52, what was next?
I looked in the mirror. My reflection didn’t look like the person I knew I should be or used to be. In the past I was a positive, fun, joyful person, but the eyes that peered back at me were a stranger. All I could think was would I remain this way forever?
I have filled many roles in my life. A daughter, sister, wife, mother, employee, co-worker, friend.
How could I continue in these roles if I wasn’t able to fill the most important one. Myself.
I needed to learn to love myself wholly as I am, to be my own best friend. Then, and only then, could I give myself to others and fill all those roles with purpose.
My Personal Development Journey
It was at this time, I began my journey of personal development and learning new skills. After all, you’re never too old to learn new tricks! That’s what I told myself.
And the thought of a fresh start was just what I needed. So, I started with a few changes. Writing my new story, one chapter at a time.
Creative Outlet
First, I’ve always enjoyed being creative. Since I was out of work, I was trying to think of creative ways to earn some money. I learned there was a whole online world out there and plenty of passive income opportunities. What???? Yep, that’s right!
I like taking pictures, and with the ease of my iphone and its excellent camera, I decided to become a Stock photo contributor. When you really look around, there is a lot of interesting things surrounding us at all times. I was snapping pictures of my garden, my dog Piper and cat Bear (now deceased), landscapes, fruit in pretty bowls, my kiddos – just simple things that made me smile.
And I actually earned some $$$ from this endeavor. I still remember the first sale I made. A whole 10 cents!!! I was super duper excited and high-fived everyone around me!!! It’s not much money at all, but I was thrilled and so proud of myself!
I’ve since earned a little bit more through this forum, but I mainly do it for the creative side of it. And you never know, since each photo can sell over and over again, that 10 cents can become 20 cents, then 30 cents and eventually a buck! Woo hoo! So, I’ll keep snapping those pics and enjoy a bit of passive income from it.
Focus on Personal Development
Have you ever noticed that some people come into our lives like a whirlwind – sometimes for a short period of time only. But, even though it was short, it was significant.
As I continued on my personal development (PD) journey, I met a woman during a Career Confidence webinar. We talked on the phone several times and she told me about a free 5-day personal development course. The deadline to sign up had passed, but she took it upon herself to call the organizer and got me into the class.
I participated in the course and those 5-days were eye opening. It piqued my curiosity so much that I decided to invest in myself and sign up for a one year mentorship with the coach. It was the best investment!
I learned that I had been living with one story all my adult life and that I could change my story and the chapters within at any time. It was all up to me. I was amazed at my growth and started listening to many PD coaches, taking bits and pieces of great information from each.
I highly recommend finding a mentor that you resonate with and work with him or her on your own personal growth. Whether you want to have a healthier lifestyle; create more income; have better relationships. Whatever. There is someone out there that has the experience under their belt to help guide you forward to your next level of living.
That woman I met? She disappeared out of my life as quickly as she came in. I believe she was my angel that forged a new path for me. I am so grateful for her and all the coaches I’ve heard from over this last year.
Remember. You’re never too old to learn or to retrain the way you think, to change your story, to step out of your comfort zone and try new things. You may really like the new you and the new doors that open up.
Communication Skills
I always thought it would be awesome to be a great public speaker. So, I wanted to work on my communication and public speaking skills that year as well.
I joined Toastmasters and participated in several Improv class sessions. This is the real deal. Talk about learning to talk and communicate more effectively – I didn’t realize how often I said “um” in my sentences until my Toastmaster meetings where they actually count all the “ums” said in your speeches at each meeting.
Here’s what I learned. Um? It’s just a filler word. Drop it from your vocabulary. There’s nothing wrong with a quiet pause in place of the “um”.
While Toastmaster meetings were more formal with planned speeches, Improv classes were great practice for thinking on my feet, using my imagination, working with others and tons of fun! Anything goes in Improv!
Both forums helped me develop my voice. And learning communication from two very different perspectives? Priceless. Now you can’t shut me up! But at least I don’t say “um”…..as much!
2020. A Year in Review
Maybe my manager from that previous job was correct.
Maybe I was a liar and disrespectful. But only to myself.
2020. The year of the pandemic, lost jobs, quarantine. For me, it was the year of self discovery.
Who is Kathleen? Well, that’s me. A confident, creative, loving person who keeps learning, jumping headfirst out of my comfort zone and continuously expanding my horizons. Now, when I look in the mirror, I like what I see. I recognize the reflection in the mirror once again.
My year of PD? That was just the beginning. What will my next chapter be? What will your next chapter be? The story continues….
Cheers!
Kathleen
2 comments
Comments are closed.